I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
