It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
