The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
