I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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