He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
smell my finger.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
