and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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