You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
