can u get pink eye on your cock?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
