mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
