Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
