me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
me + whiskey = a bad person
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.