She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
50% drunk capacity currently
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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