Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours

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(310): View more from California

Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Sounds like a good New Years

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(972): View more from Texas

It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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(404): View more from Georgia

The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny

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