my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny