are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
