dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
