She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
