I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize