He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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