you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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