I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize