glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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