i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
