Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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