yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize