she was so not down for the gang bang
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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