508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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