I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
