Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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