super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
