I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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