hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just tell him i said nine months
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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