spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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