Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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