i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
