My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
