Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
