weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
