She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
