Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Best friends brother. Beat that.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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