So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
