I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
