Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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