I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
