my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he laminated a picture of his dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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