You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
