doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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