wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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