I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
