I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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