Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
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He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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