I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
