are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize