Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
