out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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