We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
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Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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