Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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