I wish I could teleport
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
