I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
