I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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